Buddy Jesus

I saw a college student reading the Christian Bible on the bus. Wouldn't it be ironic if he got carsick? I think the church frowns on people vomiting on the New Testament.

What's His Name: Mike Jones?

I was watching MTV Jams, the last remaining MTV channel that actually plays music (They should rename themselves "PGTV" for "Prepubescent Girl Television" rather than MTV, which is misleading). I don't get an opportunity to listen to music anymore, since most of my television time is spent on the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, and other Comedy Central shows. I heard a song called "Mr. Jones" by a rapper named "Mike Jones." It wasn't a terrible song. Not a great song but possibly something Ipod worthy. "Mr. Jones" was a song about how he is now rich and a good guy and the ladies love him for it, something like that. The whole background of the song are some kids singing "Mike Jones! Who? Who? Who? Mike Jones. Mike Jones."

Here is the YouTube video of the song.

I wanted to see if maybe "Mike Jones" was becoming "Mr. Jones" because of some life event, similar to the way that Kanye West had that song "Through the Wire" when he was in a car accident and they wired his mouth shut. I looked for his information on Wikipedia and here is what his Wiki bio is (Note: This is his ACTUAL WIKIPEDIA BIOGRAPHY AS OF 2/26/2007):

[emphasis added]

Style and trademarks

Mike Jones has become well-known for his repetition of his own name throughout his songs. Many of his songs contain the phrases "Mike Jones!, Who!, Mike Jones," or "Who is Mike Jones". He is, to date the only rapper alive who has repeated his name in excess of 30 times during a single song and not been shot. Sadly what isn't known by the general public is that he's not kidding when he asks "What's my name?". Mike Jones suffers from short term memory loss and often can't remember his name, and his excessive use of his name reflects that.

His major promotional gimmick is to sell and hand out shirts reading "Property of Mike Jones" on the front and his cell phone number, 281-330-8004, on the back, as well as shouting out his name and cell phone number throughout his mixtapes and albums, encouraging fans to call him on his mobile phone. Although most people get a "Your call cannot be completed as dialed" message nowadays, Jones says (when asked in several interviews) the number still works, it is just extremely busy.

Repetition is not only limited to his name, but any phrase Mike Jones thinks is worth repeating. This violates a cardinal rule of rapping, which is to rhyme one line of words with the following line. Amazingly despite this, largely due to good samples, Jones has managed to sell some albums. He is largely referred to people with ADD because of his inexplicably repetitive style, clearly aimed at basing his entire career around his name.

Dude. What? He is recommended to people with ADD? He has short term memory loss? He is the only person not shot for repeating his own name? What's that crap about the cell phone? He sounds like an idiot. I had to re-read those paragraphs to try to understand why anyone would know that, and how he'd manage to sell albums despite his disorders. I checked for other biographies of him online and found nothing about his memory, or anything negative about him. So I went back to Wikipedia and read the following:

Controversy

Mike Jones has been involved in a high profile disagreement with ex- Swishahouse artist Chamillionaire. While Jones stated that Chamillionaire insulted him out of jealousy for his success, Chamillionaire has accused Jones of slander, and in response devoted an entire disc of his 3-CD mixtape album Mixtape Messiah to insulting him, referring to Jones as "Dyke Jones"[1]. Recently, however, Chamillionaire has contemplated working with Jones again and resolving any disagreement between the two[2].

It seems like the artist "Chamillionaire" may have gathered together a group of people and group-edited Wikipedia to make Mike Jones sound like an idiot. Either that, or it was edited be funny. Still... that's funny. But maybe that's the liberal bias that "Conservapedia" keeps talking about. Maybe Mike Jones is also a Republican donor and the editors of Wikipedia are ganging up on him. Who knows.

Video of a Girl Who Took a Picture Of Herself Every Day for 3 Years

This is not a YouTube video, it's from something called "Atom Films." An artist/filmmaker named Ahree Lee took a picture of herself every day for three years and compiled it all into a video montage. It's trippy. Each second represents about a full week.

Badass YouTube Videos

This is a horse named "Broad Appeal." - You may need to watch it twice.

The consensus is this is real. Some guy beats Super Mario World 3 in 11 minutes.

This is a musician named Jake Shimabukuro, playing a song entitled "While my Guitar gently weeps." Except he plays it with a Ukalele. Watch how fast his hands move.

Pen Spinning Champions - A Youtube video from Haduri.

New Drinking Game: Law and Order

I thought of a new drinking game today. Take a shot every time someone on Law & Order (any series) begins a sentence with "Look,"

The comma is important. The words "looking" and "Look over there" are not the same. For example, if Detective Robert Goran (Vincent D'Onofrio) asks a witness to why he/she didn't do ________. And the person follows up with, "Look, I just didn't want to get involved." That's a shot. You should only need one episode to get completely drunk, so you may want to limit it to a half of a shot.

Photos of The Day

Artists get cold too.

Psst. Psst. Gary. Gary, I need to locate Nigeria on the map. Pull down your pants.

The Life of a Chocolate Bunny is Never Easy

Sad.

Harajuku Girls

From Flickr:




I think this is cool, because only the Japanese can pull this off. Despite being gothic and rarely smiling, you don't feel that they're depressed underneath all that makeup. They're more like artists with their faces and bodies as their canvas.

Quote Yesterday from Last Year's Miss USA

"I'm an Alcoholic. I'm an Alcoholic Addict."
- Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006

...Sad. I blame the schools.

Macy's Now has Bottled Water

I couldn't find a picture, so I've posted the DKNY water. Explain to me who goes into Macy's looking for bottled water. How much is it, like 12 dollars a bottle?

Excuse me, sir? Sir? I was wondering, where can I find the Macy's bottled water? Yes, I was wondering where the bottled water was located. Next to the Bath Robes? Thanks.